What Part of No...?
The other day, the girls' father called - NOT to tell his daughter happy birthday, because apparently he didn't remember that detail until she told him it was her birthday - but to make arrangements for the next weekend they'll spend time with him. (And before that part, told me he had thought about coming to pick up the last of his stuff - finally - but saw that we had company [?! - stalker much?], so he wasn't going to. The "company" was my daughter and her friend, but when I told him that, he still wouldn't pick up his stuff. Assclown.)
A little background here:
The girls don't actually like to spend time with him, but they're not quite ready to tell him to his face (or in court) that they don't want to. Well, the younger one isn't - the older one says she is. Also, he doesn't bother to see them nearly as often as he is allowed...
But when they "have to" see him, I drive them to meet him wherever (used to be his house - ack!), and then pick them up after (no overnights), because part of the visitation order specifically states that he is not allowed to drive them anywhere, ever, due to a history of drinking, and of DUI. This has not changed in the 3 years we've been divorced, and I didn't let him drive them before that, either. So.
After chatting me up (most likely to see if I was in a good mood, and (in his mind) more likely to give in, he casually says, "I'll pick them up and we'll go to the zoo.".
Uh, no.
So now the conversation went like this:
"No you won't."
"Yes, I will."
"No. You won't."
"Yes, I will"
"I will drive them to meet you anywhere you want to take them, but you can't drive them and you know it."
"I'm going to."
"No. You're really not. There is a legal agreement that says you are not allowed to drive them, ever, for a very valid reason."
"I know. But I'm still going to."
(WTF?)
"Then why are you trying to get around it? You will not drive them. Anywhere. Ever."
"Maybe I'll get a lawyer then."
(Oh, PLEASE do - I'd like to see how you'll explain why your drunk ass driving your children around is good for their well-being... and you will lose more than you bargain for - the girls are old enough to have a say in this now).
"That's fine, but you're still not driving them."
"Yes, I am."
"Maybe I'm not being clear here. You are not allowed to drive them, and until that is legally changed, which isn't going to happen, there is no way you are driving them anywhere, at any time, for any reason."
And I'm still not sure he gets it. Guess I need to learn not to be so vague, huh? Sheesh.
A little background here:
The girls don't actually like to spend time with him, but they're not quite ready to tell him to his face (or in court) that they don't want to. Well, the younger one isn't - the older one says she is. Also, he doesn't bother to see them nearly as often as he is allowed...
But when they "have to" see him, I drive them to meet him wherever (used to be his house - ack!), and then pick them up after (no overnights), because part of the visitation order specifically states that he is not allowed to drive them anywhere, ever, due to a history of drinking, and of DUI. This has not changed in the 3 years we've been divorced, and I didn't let him drive them before that, either. So.
After chatting me up (most likely to see if I was in a good mood, and (in his mind) more likely to give in, he casually says, "I'll pick them up and we'll go to the zoo.".
Uh, no.
So now the conversation went like this:
"No you won't."
"Yes, I will."
"No. You won't."
"Yes, I will"
"I will drive them to meet you anywhere you want to take them, but you can't drive them and you know it."
"I'm going to."
"No. You're really not. There is a legal agreement that says you are not allowed to drive them, ever, for a very valid reason."
"I know. But I'm still going to."
(WTF?)
"Then why are you trying to get around it? You will not drive them. Anywhere. Ever."
"Maybe I'll get a lawyer then."
(Oh, PLEASE do - I'd like to see how you'll explain why your drunk ass driving your children around is good for their well-being... and you will lose more than you bargain for - the girls are old enough to have a say in this now).
"That's fine, but you're still not driving them."
"Yes, I am."
"Maybe I'm not being clear here. You are not allowed to drive them, and until that is legally changed, which isn't going to happen, there is no way you are driving them anywhere, at any time, for any reason."
And I'm still not sure he gets it. Guess I need to learn not to be so vague, huh? Sheesh.
posted by Just-Me-Jen at 6:31 AM
5 Comments:
hmmm, head up his arse much?
Completely and permanently, I think.
Gee - because as a parent it is his RIGHT and PRIVELEGE to put his children's lives at risk, right?
Pure prize a$$.
I think you should tell your lawyer. And why don't you bring over the rest of his stuff when you drop the girls off, that way he won't have a reason to come over to your house?
Of course, Jeanie - isn't that how that works? He's always been most important in his own mind...
I will, Janet - 'course, there's not much she can do until he either brings his own lawyer into it (not likely, but always possible), or until the girls are both ready to say they've had enough, or, gods forbid, he actually tries to make them get in the car with him...
As for his stuff - I've done that with everything that will fit in my car - lol. But one of these days when I feel like hauling it, I'll put it at the end of my driveway & tell him get it or someone else will. (None of this stuff is in my house - it's in the garage).
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